#3 Los Banditos
If there’s one team walking the line between calculated structure and pure chaos, it’s Los Banditos. Led by veteran captain Battery Jr., alongside trusted lieutenant Ty Watt, this is a group many around the league are already labeling as the most balanced roster to come out of the draft. But balance doesn’t always win games—and the big question looming over this squad is simple: where does the scoring consistently come from?
Battery Jr. wasted no time making a splash, selecting highly regarded sniper TJ Ward with his first pick. A newcomer with a reputation for finishing, Ward brings immediate offensive credibility. But the real story came moments later, when Ryan “Meat” Lemay—widely projected as a top pick—shockingly fell right into Battery’s lap.
League sources say Battery had been deadlocked on the decision between Ward and Lemay for days leading up to the draft—reportedly even taking time out of his notoriously busy texting schedule to scout both players live at Bob Birnie Arena during the now-infamous P tournament. In the end, he didn’t have to choose.
Landing both Ward and Lemay gives the Banditos a legitimate 1-2 punch down the middle that could very well be the deepest center core in the CDHL.
After that, however, things get a little less certain.
The Banditos turned to familiarity and upside, selecting league returnee Ben Godfrey, who is working his way back from a torn Achilles suffered over a year ago. While the talent is undeniable, questions remain about how quickly he can return to form.
Battery then doubled down on youth, drafting unproven newcomers Liam Bettan and William Takla—two picks that raised eyebrows across the league. When pressed on their offensive potential, Battery didn’t hesitate:
“Yeah I mean, I used to coach Bettan. Kid’s got the sandpaper—and he can find the net when needed. I’ve got some high hopes for him. As for Takla… did you see his through-the-legs bardown in the eval game? Buddy had Unc looking for spare parts. That’s all I needed to see, man.”
Confidence isn’t in short supply.
The Banditos became the first team to trigger the goalie run, selecting Lukas Reindl at 34th overall—a netminder many believe could be the best in the league. There’s just one catch: Reindl is already confirmed to miss the finals on June 22nd. For some, that brings back uneasy memories of past “can’t-miss” goalies who… well, missed. (Cough Lisbona.)
And then came the moment that truly shook the room.
With the 42nd pick, the Banditos selected THE CAT—just one spot before Spartans captain Yiani was expected to take his longtime friend. According to multiple sources, there had been a pre-draft “gentlemen’s agreement” in place. Clearly, that agreement didn’t survive draft night.
Ty Watt didn’t hold back when asked about the fallout:
“Yiani’s such a baby, man. Kid literally started crying when we took Cattapan. Full meltdown—death stares, yelling, the whole thing. Thank god his admin Paddy stepped in, gave him a Raspberry/Blueberry Ring Pop and a Brisk iced tea to calm him down. I don’t think I could’ve handled much more of that.”
A veteran intervention from Paddy, no doubt.
From there, the Banditos leaned heavily into character, rounding out their roster with Jack “Baby Hutson” Hazan, Al “1-5” Lemay, Battery Sr., and Rob “Gutter” Guttman—a group that guarantees personality in the room, if nothing else.
But the biggest wildcard—arguably in the entire league—comes in the form of Isaac Jenne.
In a move that many once thought impossible, the Banditos actually drafted him. And while he’s officially signed, paid, and rostered… he has yet to be seen anywhere near a CDHL facility. So for now, his debut remains more myth than reality.
We did reach out to Jenne’s PR team for comment, but were told he is currently unavailable, as he’s in the middle of crafting a “serious and carefully thought-out LinkedIn post.”
Classic.
The verdict? Los Banditos might be the most well-rounded team on paper. But between unanswered questions about scoring depth, availability concerns, and a few… bold personality dynamics, this is a team that could just as easily finish first as they could unravel completely.
Either way, they’ll be must-watch hockey.